Some Pictures

ice climbing
more iceclimbing
jami-my housemate...out on a snowshoe
rich another housemate-snowshoeing
mike and mik-two more guys i live with
the ice that wants to be climbed upon
                                                                                 
this is a quinzee-snow shelter that keeps you all toasty and warm.  this one fit four of us.

Recently, I have engaged in a variety of conversations with my housemates regarding self-reflection and our own journeys to living a peaceful existence.  By a peaceful existence, I mean finding a calm within oneself rather than seeking answers from others or satisfaction or happiness from external influences.  We all have the power to change our circumstances, to live healthier, breath deeper, to respect ourselves and to face challenging situations head on.  We have control over our own lives, our own choices, our own existence, but often I believe that people forget this.  

I, myself, forget.  Way more often than not.

As the fine fine man Plato once said, "be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." So to this I say dig deep within yourself, breath a little deeper and fight hard to make this life a peaceful one.

It ain't easy

It seems that I took a bit of a hiatus from writing.  While on shift, keeping everything straight is the priority so there is not much time for emailing or blogging let alone taking a moment for myself.  Work this past on shift went much more smoothly.  I came in last Tuesday with a clearer mind and a significant amount of well rested nights.  

Things about the job still bring me discomfort and I have yet to start having "fun" in the entire sense of the word with the kids.  This, I believe, is a result of the fact that all the outdoor work I have done in the past is easy going and the kids are much less demanding of my attention. 

Now, I do sound as if I am complaining, which in a sense I suppose I am, but I will explain. Participating in therapeutic practices with the students is fairly taxing and sucks a lot of mental energy from me especially because I am new and figuring out my approach.  Advice that has been passed down to me includes things like..."don't take things that the kids say personally," "don't become emotionally attached," and "the kids successes and failures have nothing to do with me." Well, my utter downfall and possibly a character flaw is that I absolutely take things personally and I do have the tendency to grow emotionally attached to people, situations, etc.  So, in many ways this job is going to help me to progress as a person and will allow me to control my emotions a bit.  Of course, its against my nature to not be emotionally attached at all or to not take things personally.  I just will never be that type of woman and frankly I don't really want to me.  I definitely am working on owning my emotional side and the fact that I am in touch with it.  

My work these past two shifts has been with the girls.  I find them difficult to work with and to navigate.  This may be a result of the fact that I have only worked two weeks, but I also find these young women to quite the challenge.  Of course, like everything else I am experiencing, working with them is a learning experience and a true chance for growth.  

Positives about my time at work so far include the solid and strong staff that I work with everyday.  These people are good natured, seasoned outdoor folks, with much guidance and support to offer each and everyday.  I am learning lots of skills...like knots!  Yay for knots (anybody with me?)  The facility that I live at with the kids is smack dab in the middle of nowhere Maine and I love it.  Its a location surrounded by the White Mountains and thousands of trees.

Ah, speaking of trees!  I have learned so many.  Ernie the 53 year old seasoned outdoorsman that I have been lucky enough to work with closely these past two weeks has begun to teach me all the different species of trees that exist in the White Mountains.  These include and are not limited to the Yellow Birch, Paper Birch, Beach Tree, Witch Hazel (this and the Beach are the only ones to keep their leaves in the winter), the Red Spruce, White Pine, Red Pine, Balsam Fur and the Eastern Hemlock.  Before learning these trees everything looked the same.  Now the forest is distinguishable and much more interesting to trudge through with a slow bunch of hikers.  So the another positive: I am becoming a naturalist.  

Ernie, the man who has been my co-leader in therapeutic crime, is also beyond skilled in the art of tracking.  By tracking I mean finding animal tracks in the snow and identifying them.  This man truly has the ability to distinguish and point out what animal said tracks belong to and when they were left behind.  It amazes me and the other day with the girls we followed some weasel tracks for three hours.  We thought maybe at the end of the tracks we would find something interesting...like a kill site...apparently there was a possibility that the weasel schooled a porcupine and ate it alive. Alas, after breaking trail for three hours in waist deep snow we called it quits.  I don't know if tracking is my thing, but it sure does provide some entertainment.

All the nature stuff aside, I hope most of all that I will begin to develop some solid relationships with the students that come through this program. I believe that it won't start completely happening until these kids phase out and I am no longer considered the "new guy."  I must be patient and realize that I was drawn here for a reason greater than my comprehension right now.  Its true...to me I have good faith in the fact that everything happens for a reason.  Going to Montana didn't sit right with me but Maine did so I will continue to discover and learn and grow and all those things.

Also, while I am developing as a person mentally, I will continue to tear up the mountain on some skis like its my job (the truth: I am just trying my very best not to eat a whole lot of shit).