I am not sorry people.

I am doing this experiment. Its called the "not apologizing for who I am" experiment. This challenge came from a new mentor that just came into my life. What this looks like is refraining from saying sorry. She asked me if I would be up for writing down every time I apologize for something ridiculous.

In the past two days, I have apologized for taking a minute to find my check card (this is something that I do every single time I pay simply because my check card never ends up back in my wallet). I apologized for taking a moment to put on my jacket before I walked outside in the cold. I apologized when someone asked me to move so they could get a pan out of the cupboard. AND countless other things.

Now people, I realize how ridiculous it is to apologize for this seemingly miniscule things, but somehow my brain has been trained to say sorry and before I know it the words float out of my mouth.

My point is this...I would like to stop apologizing for things that don't need sorrys attached to them. Yeah, all those things I apologize for seem little but it doesn't start and stop with the small stuff. I recognize that this feeds into a much bigger picture that sometimes is overlooked. Often, I feel the need to apologize for my outlook on certain issues, the way I present them, and more generally, the way I interact with folks.

AND, its like WHY?! Why in my right mind would I apologize for who I am?

My belief: I give away my power, people. Give it right away like it means nothing to me. Like its some old t-shirt. The whys behind it seem unimportant at this point. What is imperative is the how I am going to stop all this nonsense. Recognition, retraining, reaffirming. Thats right.

So, with that, I am not sorry, people.